Surprising, right? …Hmmm, not really.
Researching for this article, the example that surprised us the most was the fish known as Anlgerfish, whose name is not only strange, but its shape is also somewhat peculiar (Plz, Google it).
In their mating process, the male attaches himself to the female's body and she begins to slowly absorb him. In the end, the male has essentially become a sperm-pumping organ hanging from the female's body, fertilizing her eggs for the rest of her life.
It is a sexual marathon that lasts many years until she finally dies and he dies with her... As you read it, years!
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But we didn't come here to talk about fish, ducks, or deer. We are here to talk about us humans and how long good sex lasts among our kind. Statistics indicate that, on average, a sexual intercourse session for a couple lasts about 5.4 minutes.
What is sex?
For many years, and until today, we spend many hours talking, discussing and even glorifying the time that good sex should last. Without realizing it, we are putting unnecessary pressure on ourselves when the truth is that not everything we hear about sex is accurate. Very especially, when we talk about how many minutes a couple should spend in bed during intercourse.
First of all, we must define what sex is. According to medical specialists, it means penetration, from the initial moment in which the penis is introduced into the vagina, until the man has ejaculated and the woman has had an orgasm. These same specialists do not include in this definition what foreplay is. Now, that does not mean that this concept of professionals has to be the meaning for everyone equally.
It is important that the couple be able to communicate and explain to each other what their expectations are and what they enjoy in a sexual relationship, both during intercourse and outside of it. Because? Because it is not the same for everyone and in order to have a satisfactory sexual life it is important to make known and know the desires and desires of each person.
It is important for the couple to find what we could call the "sweet spot" in the relationship. This is that ideal situation in which a feeling of sexual satisfaction will be created for both. Remember that, as we said, it is not the same for everyone. For many people, sex that lasts less than five minutes seems to be insufficient. For other people, something that lasts more than 15 minutes can be very long. And there are also those who will value every moment of the sexual relationship while it lasts for hours.
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When talking, ask yourself several questions about what each of you wants in the relationship, beyond just penetration. Some questions that can guide you are:
How much do you both want foreplay before penetration?
What should happen during that foreplay that will not only give you pleasure but also a high level of arousal?
How long should those foreplay last?
Once penetration begins, can you move freely between penetrative and non-penetrative sex? Or do you prefer to continue with the penetration until there is a conclusion?
How do you see that conclusion? With his ejaculation? Or is it not over until you both have had an orgasm?
The above does not mean that a couple's sexual encounter should always be the same. Sometimes it's wonderful to have a long, slow, sensual experience full of banter and joy. Other times, a "quickie" is exactly what you both need and want. The main point here is to recognize your own desires, those of your partner, and respect both.
The capacity of each
Insisting on the topic of communication, there are two problems that are important and that must be addressed by couples. We refer to the capabilities of each person.
First of all, there is the ability that one or the other may have to last longer during intercourse. And, secondly, there is the ability to reach orgasm and thus have much more satisfaction from sex.
In the case of a man, if he feels that he has difficulty making his erection last as long as he would like, there are physical exercises and training for the body that will allow him to maintain the condition for longer during sexual intercourse. Even in yoga there are special exercises for men that allow you to improve the condition of your pelvic floor and the performance of your prostate.
For women who find it difficult to reach orgasm during sexual relations, there are also powerful exercises, tools and techniques that can help the body have much more sensitivity in order to obtain much more pleasure, sensuality and much deeper and more intense orgasms.
What is the ideal duration, according to men?
In medical terms, the ideal duration of penetrative intercourse is known as the intravaginal ejaculatory latency time. Basically, it is the time that passes from the beginning of penetration until the moment ejaculation occurs. On average, they estimate that the ideal duration is about 16 minutes and the actual duration, or what they think people actually last, is about 9 minutes.
The Journal of Sexual Medicine conducted a study among 474 men from five countries (Spain, the United States, the Netherlands, the United Kingdom and Turkey). For the work, they were asked to use a stopwatch for four weeks to measure their intravaginal ejaculatory latency time.
The intravaginal ejaculatory latency time had a positive asymmetric distribution, with an average of 5.7 minutes. There was a range that included from 0.1 minutes to about 55 minutes, so some people have a longer intravaginal ejaculatory latency time and interestingly it varies by location.
Men from Turkey had the shortest mean ejaculatory intravaginal latency time (4.4 minutes). UK men had the longest (10.0 minutes). Circumcision and condom use did not have a significant impact on the average. Subjects who were unhappy with their latency time had slightly lower values (5.2 minutes) than the population average.
We are not reaching the ideal time
Although there is no good scientific study on how long women want their sexual relationship to last, a survey conducted by the website Saucy Dates, among 3,836 people, indicated that women want it to last 25 minutes with 51 seconds. For men, when asked how long would you like sex to last? The average response was 25 minutes 43 seconds.
Although both figures are very close to each other, the reality is very different. According to the survey, the average man of any country and of any age is not having the ideal length of time. It is true that there are exceptions, but the reality is that both men and women are not achieving the duration that they both desire.
The study, which was carried out among people from several countries, but which only took into account data from Australia, Canada, the United States, India and the United Kingdom, indicates that there is a notable trend in the duration of sexual relations that increases with age (between 25 and 33 years) and then decreases as the number of years increases.
According to the survey, men in the United States are achieving the best duration in their sexual relations, while men in India are below the international average for all age ranges. The trend in this country is different from that of other regions and its men improve more and more as their age advances. At 50 years old they are very close to the rest of the world.
The reality is that all of this varies from person to person, so we shouldn't put too much emphasis on these numbers. What we want you to take away is what is normal and what is average. If you're hitting that average, we think that's great. The most important thing is that you and your partner are satisfied.
Having sexual relations that last exactly as long as you both want and need is a bit complicated. However, both can do a lot to have a sexual act that lasts long enough and is full of incredible, frequent and satisfying experiences, if we choose to educate ourselves on the subject and decide to invest the time and dedication in improving our sexual life.
